Hey Hey ! 

It’s completely normal to feel this way. Although you can’t help feeling guilty and ashamed you can’t be too hard on yourself! We all grow, develop, evolve and this may involve shifting of interest (such as moving on from your bias group) to switching hobbies completely (not being into kpop as much as you used to be). 

It must have been hard coming to terms that you’ve either out grown your bias group or that your not into kpop anymore considering you ran a forum, actively followed their activities and even brought their CDs all these years. All these elements must have been confronting as you were coming face to face with your realisation. For example, if you had posters of bias up in your room it may have been a little difficult to avoid them and get them out of your mind without feeling guilty.

As much as i love kpop, i can’t ever imagine myself being as passionate about it as this point in my life where i’m a young adult. You may feel guilty and ashamed but there’s no point in sticking with a hobby or sub culture that doesn’t interest you and makes you feel down. As far as i’m concerned, kpop will always be around and it doesn’t necessarily mean the present. You can always look back in at a point in your life and know that kpop was apart of your life, or perhaps 5 years from now listen to that kpop song that you used to like. Those kpop memories, good times, online blogging, awesome memories that belong with you aren’t going to go anywhere, as long as you reflect upon it. 

The fundamentals of choosing elective/school subjects in your younger year levels is to try and experience perhaps what you would like to study and have as a career path. For example, studying chemistry in high school so you can be a pharmacist. The application of this is similar to your situation of putting alot of commitment and invested alot of time and energy into supporting your bias group. (I’m going to assume that you are still young) Perhaps this means now that you are growing older you are looking for a relationship where that may be a partner, friendship, co workers in which you can support each other or a career path where you can be committed to. The difference is this is applied to people who you know in real life whereas previously it was about celebrities and idols.

Betray is such a harsh word. I would think retire would be appropriate. You’ve been an absolute stunner supporting your bias group, running forums, purchasing their music and following their activities. I like to think of the word retire to be associated with those who loved their job, performed professionally, has been positively influenced or inspired others, had a fantastic time but know that it is time to move on. It is some what a graceful exit and it put in a better light than feeling betrayed. 

Only you can feel and know what to do and it is completely your decision to what you should do. You shouldn’t be hard on yourself to the extent of feeling that you have betrayed your bias group. It may be difficult at first to realise seeing as you have always supported them and probably placed them as a priority in your life but you have to respect yourself. Interests and hobbies are things you do that you enjoy and love, although you may feel a little sad that you are no longer interested you shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. 

“Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.” - Mark Twain 

I think this quote quickly explains what might have been a catalyst for you feeling ashamed and guilty. In the kpop fandom, the one thing that everyone keeps banging on about (oh hello ;] ) is what a true fan is. Many people define a true fan as purchasing all their music, defending them with oppa didn’t mean it or trying to get a newly released music video past a million views… you get the picture. Most people feel guilty or even get “attacked” if they don’t like a particular song or hair style of an idol. This may have been an influencing factor and catalyst of why you felt so ashamed and that you have betrayed your bias group.

Do what you want and you’ll feel much happier :) Noone can force you to stay or go. It may feel hard to turn your back on your bias group but they are idols. Idols have alot of fan girls/boys (if you’re worried trolol), talent and support. Their job theoretically is to primarily inspire people by their music and if they’ve done that to you then that’s great! Not to mention you have been dedicated for years, why would you feel ashamed over that? You should be completely pumped and excited :D You’ve spent so much time on something that you’ve enjoyed but every piece of bubble gum eventually runs out of that grape flavour. Perhaps it’s time to move on and find ( a new piece of gum with a different flavour) another interest to be dedicated, passionate and become inspired again. 

Start thinking and feeling happy :) Smile that kpop and your bias group has been apart of your life and influenced you so much. Perhaps it’s time to put those cds in a special drawer to find them later and smile and remember all the good times and move on.

Good luck and i hope this help! Please reply to let me know that you’ve read the message. Also if any other followers have suggestions/advice/messages of support, Please write in this question box?